Ex Machina (2015)

Trailer: Ex Machina

Starring: Alicia Vikander, Domhnall Gleeson, Oscar Isaac

Directed by:  Alex Garland

Runtime: 1 hr 48 mins

Genre(s):  Sci-Fi, Drama

Review by:  John Dixon

Spoiler Free Review: (read if you have NOT seen this movie)

Caleb is a programmer (Gleeson) that works for a Search Engine company and is chosen to be a tester of sorts to assist in a project to verify Artificial Intelligence.  Nathan (Isaac) needs a person to come in fresh and go through specialized testing to find out if his created A.I. can be considered 100% believable.  Is anything really alive without flesh and bones?  Is Nathan just using Caleb in his own testing?  Your questions will be answered don’t worry.  Although I wasn’t a fan of the ending, this movie engaged me and wouldn’t let go.  I was thinking on many different levels as this movie was going to try and figure out the end game.  I loved the plot and it did seem predictable at times.  Either that or I got real lucky calling some things.  Oscar Isaac & Domhnall Gleeson prove that they are going to be forces to be reckoned with in the coming years.  Alicia Vikander makes a breakout performance (can I say that with 19 acting credits under her belt prior to this movie already?) as the AI and comes off not robotic and quite human.  Very old school Sci-Fi driven and one heck of a watch!

 

Spoiler Filled Review: (read only if you HAVE seen it and don’t care about spoilers)

I was blown away by this movie.  I love when movies make me think and this movie did no less.  What happens when you create the perfect A.I.?  Do you just move over and let it evolve or do you try to control it and make it better?  Questions are answered here but still leaves you with the question that you pose to yourself.  What would you do? Theoretical Ethics class begins now!  If I could build an AI I would.  But I would definitely put into place Asimov’s 3 Laws of robotics.  1.  A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.  2.  A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings, except when it conflicts with the first law.  3.  A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Laws.  These laws would have resolved any problems Nathan & Caleb had regarding uprising.

Let’s start with the setting.  We start at Isla Nublar aka the Island from “LOST”, aka I’m only kidding.  Really, the location and setting play a huge part in what you end up feeling throughout the movie.  Alone.  You are alone here.  The locking features on the doors and the extreme nature hike you would need to take will make you feel anxious to get out.  One of the many things added to this movie to make you feel anxious in a non-thrilling movie.  Okay, there was some thriller-y parts but it’s not committed to them.  The score added to the intense anxious feeling you get while watching.  A lot of loud crashing sounds in the score.  Reminiscent of 70’s-80’s sci-fi.

The plot itself is written pretty simply.  It is a step up though in terms of what Alex Garland has written thus far in his career.  28 Days Later, Sunshine, Dredd are some of the credits to make your own judgement.  This plot and story line was pretty predictable.  My wife called the “who’s causing the power outages”.  I called the “He is testing the tester” theory.  I also called the “Kyoko is a android” thing way before it was revealed.  I really hope you saw my spoilers declaration above.  I did not call the ending of the movie.  That was one twist I was not expecting.  I like how Nathan explained in detail the level of in depth programming he did while standing in front of the Pollack painting.  In lay-mans terms he said that if he programmed “Love” then it would be a simple emotion.  1 dimensional.  What he did instead was to program everything that surrounded the emotion so that Love would come naturally.  It seems that he got that wrong in the end.  I also like how Garland threw in there the Heterosexuality as not being a choice.  

The overall feel to this movie has a creepy overtone.  The immediate friendship of Nathan is comforting and yet off-putting at the same time.  The special effects were very simplistic and I like the “cost cutting” idea of throwing clothes on the models.  The bodies felt real enough so they did their job there.  Also, I wasn’t 100% on how that skin worked.  I would like to have had a brief discussion on that.

I will probably watch Ex Machina a few more times in the coming years to see what I missed before.  The ending is my beef.  I don’t like that Nathan was murdered by his own creation.  Seemed plausible enough though.  Didn’t Ultron (from Avengers) once say that “Everyone creates the thing they dread”.  I will continue.  I don’t like how Caleb was just left to die.  When did Ava have time to reverse his programming (when the power goes off the doors open).  Shouldn’t they have shown that?  I wanted some closure on him but didn’t get it.  Are we getting a sequel?  Who knows.  Outstanding movie.  Not so outstanding ending.

4.5

STARS

 

Comic Book Connection Oscar Isaac – X-men: Apocalypse
Nudity Bonus Alicia Vikander – Full, Sonoya Mizuno – Full, Gana Bayarsaikhan – Full, Claire Selby – Full
Favorite Moment Any of the sessions.  Each one is good in its own.  I can’t pick one.
Most Hated Moment When Ava leaves Caleb.
THIS Movie reminded me of THAT Movie 2001: A Space Odyssey.  More-so the score and overall creepiness to the film.
What did my wife (Tiffany) think of this movie? I really liked this movie. It was really easy to follow without being over your head smart but still has you thinking what’s going to happen next. And who doesn’t love a movie with a robot?! In all seriousness I would recommend it to anyone looking for an exciting keeps you on your toes drama with a touch of sci-fi.
Box Office Budget $15,000,000.00
How much it made Domestically $25,423,377.00
Was it a Box office Success? Or Failure? Success
Did you notice? 1.  That Gleeson & Isaac are going to be in Star Wars: The Force Awakens together.
2.  Nathan’s Estate is mostly real.  As seen in a Vanity Affair article Here.
3.  Go watch “About Time” for another good movie with Domhnall Gleeson and for Oscar Isaac go watch “Inside Llewyn Davis“.
Rotten Tomatoes Score
Critics 92%
Audience 86%

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Horrible Bosses 2 (2014)

Trailer: Horrible Bosses 2 (2014)

Starring: Jason Bateman, Jason Sudeikis, Charlie Day

Directed by:  Sean Anders

Runtime: 1 hr 48 mins

Genre(s):  Comedy, Crime

Spoiler Free Review:

The sequel to the very funny Horrible Bosses movie does more of the same but with a different formula.  Dean, Kurt, and Nick want to live life without having a boss in their life.  They want to be the boss.  So, they come up with an idea that can make them millions.  Just because they have an idea though doesn’t mean that they know how to run a business.  This sequel does not fall into the pitfall of the first formula which is nice but doesn’t have a lot of the laugh out loud moments the first had and it really is less funny all together.  Chris Pine is a welcome but seems to be out of his element here.

Spoiler Filled Review:

Horrible Bosses 2 was supposed to be just as funny if not funnier than the original movie.  It’s hard to have a movie were they try to kill another boss so, they are now the Bosses (in a way) and instead they kidnap Rex (Chris Pine).  There wasn’t much room to move with this movie.  Once the idea was layed out it played out the rest of the movie with 1 twist that I could have done without.  As a comedy it felt it may have been better as a Crime flick.  Because the funny was too forced at times.

I love Charlie Day (plays Dale) normally.  But in this movie he annoyed the heck out of me.  But so did Jason Sudeikis’ (Kurt) character too.  They seemed very shallow as characters and were there only for jokes.  Jokes that didn’t come off as that funny.  I would say 30% of everything they said made me chuckle.  The other 70% had me like Jason Bateman’s character (Nick).  “See, prime illustration that you two are idiots!”.  Jennifer Aniston, Kevin Spacey, and Jamie Foxx’s characters felt forced a bit but they were additions that helped make it feel like it was a true sequel instead of just another movie with these 3 guys from Horrible Bosses.  Finally, with the addition of Chris Pine & Christoph Waltz it seemed like this movie just got a shot of class.  I said “seemed” like.  Waltz (Bert) had very short scenes but was great and Pine seemed very much out of his element.  I would rather him be in an action flick even though I do believe he got his start in rom coms.  I found his character to be campy and annoying.

The idea that they had in this movie was very nice.  Obviously most of the plotting came from the Rex character because these idiots couldn’t do something that complicated.  I thought it added a nice touch to a new feel of the movie.  The Score/Soundtrack helped freshen this movie up by throwing in some Katie Perry, NWA, Cali Swag District to name a few.

It felt the 3 main actors had a lot of control in this movie.  I felt they used a lot of ad-lib throughout giving the director something to edit in the final process.  I thought the movie followed a very cohesive track until we hit the twist.  After that it felt the movie tried to hurry up and end.  Maybe that’s just me but I wasn’t a fan of the twist.  I wanted to see these guys have it all and beat the “bad” guy in the process.  It was very formulaic until that point and I get thrown a curveball.  It’s fine I guess, just wasn’t my favorite.  As for the director?  Sometimes if everything goes without problems it’s because the director handled everything pretty well and did a fine job editing the final product.

I liked it.  It wasn’t the funniest movie of the year but definitely earns a spot right behind the first film.

3.5

STARS

Comic Book Connection Jamie Foxx – The Amazing Spider-Man 2, Christoph Waltz – The Green Hornet
Nudity Bonus None.
Favorite Moment Riding in the getaway car with MF’r Jones
Most Hated Moment When Rex is trying to convince Nick to not give up and the other 2 guys are over talking him.  It really annoyed me.
THIS Movie reminded me of THAT Movie The Hangover 2 – Not following the exact same formula like this movie but still…
Box Office Budget $42,000,000.00
How much it made Domestically $54,445,357.00
Was it a Box office Success? Or Failure? Success
Did you notice? 1.  That beginning weather guy was the guy from the old Playstation Commercials.  Glad to see him get some work.
2.  Keeley Hazell was Rex’s Assistant in the movie  (Woah!!  Here is a link to show you what I’m talking about)
3.  That the outtakes at the end of the movie were not funny at all.  Most outtakes are hilarious.
Rotten Tomatoes Score
Critics 35%
Audience 49%

Indiana Jones: The Last Crusade (1989)

Indy LC1

Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=A7TaY8HWYd8

Starring: Harrison Ford, Sean Connery    – Directed By: Steven Spielberg

Running Time: 2hr 11 min   – Genre: Action Adventure

Ran-Dizzle (Host)

Synopsis:

Movie Relevance:
Since this is going to be my official last post, I decided to end it with this movie as it is the “Last Crusade” that Kimmay! and I shall be a part of. That being said I wish Big JD a long and prosperous ride with his blogs and hope that it continues to blossom for him.

Review:

This is my favorite of the Trilogy (yes Trilogy I don’t count that other movie that claims to be part of Indy’s world) You get to see the connection between Indy’s past and how and why he does what he does, and his relationship with his father and his father’s passion for finding the Holy Grail.

What I felt went right with the story was giving it some background, going back and showing us how Indy became Indy, and how he progressed so far. What I didn’t like about the story is that it does kind of beat a dead horse when Indy is always getting involved withThe-Last-Crusade-Screencap-indiana-jones-18999827-1024-440 Nazi’s and end of the world situations cause because the Nazi’s are wanting to find a supernatural way of ending the world.

Sean Connery playing Henry Jones Sr. make worth watching this movie to me, he plays a role that is passive yet firm especially with Indy.

Harrison ford always plays Indiana so well, I think my favorite part is when he threw the Nazi Soldier out and says “No Ticket” and then everyone starts producing their tickets …classic Indy humor.indiana_jones

It was good to see Julian Glover added as the bad guy as he tends to play those kind of roles as he was in Empire Strikes back as General Veers he plays the greedy entrepreneur that wants to use the cup for personal gain as well as to sell to the Nazi’s.

There are quite a bit of holes in the movie and areas were not completely thought through like, for example…if you heard a loud CLANG in your library and it happened every time you stamped the book, yeah that’s funny to us but wouldn’t you think as a librarian you would go check that out?

Overall this to me is the best Indiana Jones movie and it is a must watch for all Indiana Jones fans.

P.S I am very glad that we finally got to finish a trilogy while being part of the Movie Review Crew. I’ve had fun and hope that you all continue to read as BIG JD kicks it old school and still pumps out the reviews for you guys. I’ve had a blast and hope you all enjoyed the movies we’ve review and will continue to review.

4.0‘s

Kimmay!

Now this is my favorite Indy movie. I remember the first time I watched it with my cousins they tried to force me to watch the part were thy guy turns to dust but I was a wimp and refused…I knew nothing good was gonna come from drinking out of the wrong goblet. They made fun of me the rest of the time I was in Oklahoma but the funny parts totally out weighed the one.indiana-image

I didn’t realize how much of this movie I had forgotten until I watched it last night. I was giggling through most of, especially when Dr. Henry Jones entered the scene. The relationship between father and son was hilarious. I loved it whenever Indy removed a few of the bad guys and would look to his dad for a “way to be son” look and would get a “are you serious” look instead. But the touching moments were when at one time or another they thought the other was dead or dying. The-Last-Crusade-Screencap-indiana-jones-19000585-1024-440

When it came to the script, I liked the idea of finding the Holy Grail. I also thought it was fun that the writers mentions the Arc of the Covenant. But the script was witty and kept you engaged in the film.

If you haven’t watched the Indy series I totally recommend it. Might skip the last one though. Wasn’t what it could have been for an Indiana Jones film, but it did have a few shining moments.

So I give this movie…

4.5‘s

 

BIG JD

Warning:  This review is full of spoilers.

I won’t lie… the first 40 seconds of this movie could totally be a Man-Thing sequel.  Ha!  Lots of laughin’.  Just a jk’n you and stuff.  The beginning of this film spawned The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles Television series that ran for oh about a year.  It starred Patrick Flanery as the young Indiana Jones (a far cry from River Phoenix) but, without Patrick we wouldn’t have had the Boondock Saints Duo.  I will proceed now.

indiana-jones-and-the-last-crusade-river-phoenixRiver Phoenix plays a wonderful Indiana Jones.  Facial expressions, body mannerisms, voice inflections the whole yard.  We lost someone special when we lost River Phoenix.  Well, it looks as if Leonardo DiCaprio filled in just fine right?  He just stepped right in there didn’t he.  Anyway this beginning we get to see what inspires him the rest of his life.

In this movie we get to go back to the original formula.  Using the college as the Base of operations and his sanctuary.  And a pleasant addition of Indy’s father.  BTW When they found his fathers house in shambles how did Marcus know that it was “today’s” mail he was looking at?  Something to think about.  A lot of the same was used to make it an Indiana Jones movie such as the fake punch sounds, overacted action sequences, Nazi’s, A huge map that has a red line showing their travelling distance and the most important.  An ancient artifact that has to be found.  In this case it is the Holy Grail.  BTW can you open your eyes in petroleum?  Looks like that would burn.  Even if it is mixed with water it would have to be concentrated enough to actually set a flame.  The girl (Elsa) is pretty lackluster and forgettable in this movie.  Another blonde, what are ya gonna do?  You find out later why she doesn’t fit that role well.  Greed kills.  I loved Harrison Ford’s Irish or is that Scottish accent.  Either one whatever, it was amusing.  It is the first time we see Indy wearing a long tie with his classic brown shirt.

A complaint I have though is that halfway through this movie the bantering between father and son get old quick.  The movie at times just lastcrusadeseems to be regurgitated bits and pieces from the previous two films.  Although getting Hitler’s autograph was pretty original.  Maybe because it has a lack of leading lady.  Maybe Sean Connery takes the place of the leading lady?  One thing I’ve figured out is that Indiana fights best when he’s on the move.  It doesn’t matter whether it’s a motorcycle or a tank he fights all over the place.  Junior!

Just a little bit more “fantasy” then the other two movies but not too much.  This still ranks as third for me in the trilogy.  Mainly because I found most of this movie to be slightly boring.  Boring for an Indiana Jones movie anyway.  But it’s a must see for any fan.

I would like to end this review by saying that this will be the final review with our other 2 members of the Movie Crew.  Ran-Dizzle and Kimmay! Are moving on to greener pastures.  Mainly pastures that don’t make them write a movie review every week.  It’s ok.  It can be daunting at times but I’m here for YOU.  I will  remain here.  The Movie Crew will be a crew of ONE.  I will though take a few weeks off in February.  And you will see posts again late Feb. or first week of March.  I want these reviews to stay original in content so, things may change or things may stay somewhat similar.  Thank you to all of our followers.  You reading is what keeps me doing this.

3.50‘s

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984)

Trailer: 

Starring: Harrison Ford,  Kate CapshawJonathan Ke Quan    – Directed By: Steven Spielberg

Running Time: 1hr 58 min   – Genre: Action/Advent

Kimmay! (Host)

Synopsis:
Indy continues on new adventures and just can’t stay out of trouble. Picking up a couple of sidekicks on the way, he helps save a village by finding and returning a sacred stone. He just needs to keep an eye out for his heart.

Movie Relevance:

Well once you watch one Indiana Jones you have to watch them all!

Review:

I believe I stated in the last Indy review that I had not watched these films in a while. So I am glad that we decided to watch them again. While

this is not my favorite Jones movie it is still a great one.

Short Round was my favorite addition to the movie. He brought out a side of Indy that is rarely seen. In the Lost Arc film he was kind of that way with Marion but only a few times. He was caring and Short Round had enough pull on him to break him out of the zombie trance. The thing I loved most about Short Round was the fact he was just like his character in the Goonies. Most would say that was bad but I think he was a fun character and it saddens me that he really only did the two movies.

Willie annoyed me to no end. She was super needy and only did ok as a love interest in the movie. But I do have to say her reactions to the dinner was fabulous and I would have probably reacted the same way.

Again the music was great in this film as it was in the first and the script was very original.

So I give this film…

4.0‘s

Ran-Dizzle

No time for love Dr. Jones….

The best thing about this movie especially following Raiders is you get to see more of Indy and his many adventures. This one isn’t bad actually the only one in the collection that I think was bad was Crystal Skull for personal reasons. I think Last Crusade is the best of them all but let’s review this one.

Short Round stole the show for me. He is a loveable character and always backing up Dr. Henry Jones “Indy” and also causing trouble. Seeing him belt the little voo doo bastard in the mouth while Indy was beating the burly guy was quite entertaining, or seeing him drive the car with the wedge pedal shoes.

Willie Scott, not my favorite Indy girl. (Always have been a fan of Marion.) plays her role well. She portrays the ditzy blonde vaudeville show style girl who is just trying to find her fortune but lands in Indy’s lap.

There is several things wrong with this movie that even for the time sticks out like a sore thumb. Special effects when the plane explodes it obviously was green screened very similar to Star Wars effects however for some reason in the Indy films they seem a little cheesier now. Also I noticed this in both Raiders and this movie…If you count bullets when guns are fired…when you have a six shooter and you fire 14 shots and no reload?! or better yet using musket rifles that involve powder and muskets…and your firing multiple times. Also when they are escaping the tunnels to get away from the water you can tell it’s also green screened…granted back in the day this was top of the line…but to me it’s pretty cheesy now yet I still love these movies.

As any “Good” Indiana Jones this is a must see just for retro sake, or if you’ve never seen it before it’s a must see for any Indiana Jones fan.

3.5‘s

 

BIG JD

This is my favorite Indiana Jones movie of all time.  Out of 4 movies this one comes out on top.  I betcha wonderin’ why this is the case?  Well, it’s kinda why I’m writing this review.  Walk with me for a second…

So, you know how some of the most horrible movies may stick in your heads as good experiences?  Most of that is caused by nostalgia.  It was a movie that you watched when you were young and it always stuck with you.  Getting older you’ve seen how bad that it may be but for some reason watching it brings back those nostalgic feelings of being young and without care.  This movie sort of wins but Indiana Jones film to me mostly because of this reason.  This was the movie that I discovered how cool Harrison Ford can be if he played another character.  In the “Raiders” review I spoke about how I was strictly a Star Wars fan and didn’t give that movie a chance.  But this is the movie I did give a chance and I’m glad I did.  Now, that I think about it I do that a lot…  Shun the first outing of something and then become a fan on the second outing…  Eminem comes to mind.  I digress.

I think the biggest “like” of this movie for me is that there isn’t a clear setup of story for Indy.  In the beginning he is concluding another adventure and he winds up stuck in a situation were he feels compelled to go on yet another adventure when it really didn’t call for it.  So, it kinda feels like we the audience are getting something for free.  Bonus mission!  There are many likes I have in this film like the dinner scene, the bugs scene, the heart scene (definitely), and finally the mine car chase.  So epic they made it a ride at Universal Studios.  And the punch sounds.  Many may think “corny” but even my daughter while watching the movie noticed the outright ridiculousness of the fake punch sounds.  It’s Indiana Jones Gold.

Now with all this love, I can’t let go some of the bad writing that we the audience was just supposed to accept.  Examples being, 1.  Indiana Jones drinks poison yet, he is able to run around (for quite some time) and fight and everything before getting the antidote.  Even after the bad guy says “it works fast!”.  2.  If you jump out of a plane on a life raft and hit the ground they hit you would most likely break some legs.  As soon as it was “aired up” and went over the cliff, I’m sorry but it would have flipped over many times its just physics.  What was the point in having all these guests show up at the palace if they didn’t do anything to contribute to story?  Ok, the british guy sort of told the story of them being overseen and watched by Britain.  But other than that?  That close to lava and Willie didn’t burn up?  Not even a red shade of rosey?  Just alittle sweat is what we got.  If that stuff is hot enough to melt bone from its cage then being that close would have made her skin bubble.  Just sayin’.  Things like that come up and I’m like what?!  How the heck does Indiana get his whip to latch on to things so that he can swing on it?  That doesn’t make any sense at all.  And most likely many more points to make if I were to be nitpicky.

The relationship between Willie & Indie was annoying to say the least.  It reminded me more of Romancing the Stone than Indiana Jones.  Come to think of it Romancing the Stone came out the same year as this movie so, I might be on to something.  I liked the inclusion of short round.  He was great.  I wish he would have been included in more movies.  It was a side of Dr. Jones that we haven’t seen yet.  The ending was very satisfying and yet this movie doesn’t explore many of the formulas the first one had it still has its own piece of history.  Indiana Jones on an adventure.  That’s all you need.  …with a slight flare for the “unbelievable”.

4.0‘s

Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)

Indy

Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=YYew0P9wvhY

Starring: Harrison Ford, Karen Allen   – Directed By: Steven Spielberg

Running Time: 1hr 55 min   – Genre: Action/Adventure


Ran-Dizzle (Host)

Synopsis:
Indiana Jones Archeologist / Professor of Archeology has been asked to find the Ark of the Covenent before the Nazi’s do, now it’s a race between Indy and Belloq who is helping the Nazi find the Arc.

Movie Relevance:

This is one of my favorite films of all time so I picked it.

Review:

You can never go wrong with a classic, even when I was a little boy and I heard the theme to Indiana Jones I would stop what I was doing and go running in to watch it, Something about Raiders of the Lost Ark that is just so amazing I can watch it multiple times. I grew up wanting to be like Indy. That being said here is the review.

Raiders of the Lost Ark is a classic for Speilberg and Lucas it introduces us to this brilliant, daring professor/archeologist that we all know and love. Indiana Jones, Harrison ford who while making the Indy films portrayed a scruffy looking nerf herder Han Solo, so we see him in his bold, sarcastic, brilliance as a rouge pirate basically in Star Wars…alot of Han is shown in Indy, but since it’s in a Galaxy far far away…. you can’t really compare the two, But Harrison Ford has created a staple for many to attempt and follow as the loveable, charismatic character Indiana Jones.*May 01 - 00:00*05_Flatbed_WEB

Karen Allen playing to me the ONLY love interest that Indy has ever had and that would be Marion a Spit-Fire brunette that can hold her own but is madly in love with Indy but keeps her guard up. I cannot see anyone else playing this character because she at the time this was created had a decent career and was very beautiful for the tom-boy next door look. If anything I could have seen her easily replace Margot Kidder as Lois Lane but that’s neither here nor there.

John Rhys- Davies also played very well as Indy’s friend that was a “Digger” for the archeologists in Cairo. He speaks english very well and honestly hearing him talk I can trace a hint of UK English in his voice which can sometimes be annoying but since some people in Cairo do go to Oxford for studying I am not really out ruling on that.

As for the plot, it’s original at its time but it felt like a chess game between Belloq and Indy, I got your prize, now I got you prize, no I got your prize, nope sorry I got your prize, HAHA neither of us get it. Kind of situation which keeps the movie rolling, but I mean the last time the Nazi’s take it from Indy…seriously enough is enough. indiana-jones-and-the-swordsman-in-raiders-of-the-lost-ark_7-best-movie-fight-scenes

I did have a few quirks about the movie that annoyed me, When he’s a professor he has his glasses on, when he’s Indy he doesn’t need them… Does he think he’s Superman/Clark Kent… Daily Professor and then Treasure Hunting, Adventure seeking Archeologist by night?

Face Melt 1The graphics were pretty cheesy but at the time they were top of the line, the stop animation of the face melt is a classic. Or when Alfred Molina gets skewered and see the fake face still jiggling with the spikes like a rubber mask it is.

Overall though for the special effects and wardrobe it all seemed to be ok for the time, looking back though as we are spoiled moving forward it’s kind of cheesy but I still love it. This is a classic you must see, you can’t miss this.

4.0‘s

Kimmay!

To start this review it has been many, many years since I watched this movie. It amazes me what the film industry used to consider PG in the 1980’s. If I had to rate this movie I would give it a rating of PG-13. It’s got faces melting off and heads blowing up but I guess it is a bit cheesy by today’s standards.

Indy GlassesI must say that Harrison Ford was quite the stud muffin in his younger days and he aged rather well at that. I don’t think anybody else could have played Indiana Jones the way he did. He was quirky and when he gave his “sexy” look…the female heart just sighs. Karen Allen as Marion Ravenwood was a good choice. She can drink most men under the table and isn’t above trying to save herself when Indy won’t. I have to say my favorite scene was when she climbed up Indy to get away from all of the snakes. It made me giggle because I would have done the same thing.

Now the theme song is known everywhere. I have to say it is one of the best written out there. It plays and the since of adventure fills the year.  I have to say it is one of my favorites.

The script was original and super fun to watch. The dialog was easy to follow and fun to listen to.

After watching this one I’m gonna have to go back and watch the others. Maybe not the last one, but that’s a different review.

So I give this one…

4.5‘s

 

BIG JD

Harrison Ford before he was a legend but you can tell that he was well on his way.  The first installment of the Indiana Jones series still proves to be my second favorite of them all (4).  What makes it come in runner up?  I can tell ya!

First of all I would like to state that I was a Star Wars fan way before I was a suedo fan of Indiana Jones.  As a kid I had always looked at Harrison Ford playing this boring teacher guy as something I wasn’t at all interested in.  So, needless to say I had passed up Raiders of the Lost Arc the first time around.  I saw bits and pieces but like I said I had no interest because Harrison was NOT Indiana he was Han.  Period.  Fast forward to 2014 and I’m watching Raiders not for the first time but, still it feels new in places.  Karen Allen plays a formidable partner for Indy and helps drive along the story very well.  Minus the fact that we never know much about their past.  I guess that’s how Kasdan likes to write.  He always puts that stuff in his movies (Star Wars) that reference the characters past to give them depth.  Too bad he didn’t have a hand in the prequels.  Ok, I know… off topic.

The flow of the movie seems to go pretty well, until the Nazi’s steal the arc after Indy had stole it back from them after they stole it from him initially which happens to be the 2nd time that we know of as an audience that Belloq steals something from Indy after he went to the trouble of getting it.  Phew!  It just becomes a bit “done” and honestly it gets old after awhile.  Hey look kids he fighting Nazi’s for like an hour.  Maybe not that long but at times it feels like it.

Alfred MolinaThe movie starts off with an actor that we all know pretty well nowadays especially if you’ve seen Spider-Man 2.  Alfred Molina had his big movie break here and what seems confusing to me is that he gets opening credits fanfare.  I’m confused only because (spoiler) he doesn’t make it too far into the movie before he gets “stuck”.

Storywise the movie follows a pretty straightforward story.  Find arc – bring it back.  Don’t trust anyone because it’s going to be dangerous.  Simple enough right?  Well, one of the things that bothers me the most is that after Indiana Jones goes off on these dangerous artifact finds he runs into opposition that end up shooting guns, arrows and swinging swords at his face.  After he makes it out alive he comes back to his teaching job and nobody ever thinks to follow him and continue their fight.  It’s like he’s in a “safe” zone and I’m wondering to myself “now, why didn’t I ever notice that before?”  If I were Belloq why wouldn’t I just follow Mr. Jones back to his teaching job and take him out while he is going through his lecture?  Some might say “well, Belloq needs Indy to get the artifacts for him so that he can steal them from him.”  To that I say, then why does Belloq try to kill Indiana every time they run into each other?  Yeah, thought so.  Magically delicious safe zone.

Indy BelloqClassic soundtrack by Williams and you can feel a Star Wars influence in this movie.  Directly after Empire so, it still feels thematic.  Very good though.  I liked it, but only second best to me.  Stay tuned until next week and you might find out what comes in at number one.

Comic book Connection: Alfred Molina- Spider-Man 2

Nudity Bonus: n/a  (there is a whip though…)

3.50‘s

Scrooged (1988)

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Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=9ajwSBuozVs

Starring: Bill Murray, Karen Allen   – Directed By: Richard Donner

Running Time: 1hr 41min   – Genre: Comedy, Drama, Holiday, Fantasy


Ran-Dizzle (Host)

Synopsis:

Frank Cross President of a Broadcast Company has over time developed a very narrow path, as he creates a live Scrooge show on Christmas Eve he is visited by his old boss and 3 spirits living the true tale of Scrooge.

Movie Relevance:

Well tis’ the season to enjoy Christmas movies, but as I found out from friends and family I was becoming a bit of a Scrooge myself, Hesitated about putting up my tree and lights, and when Christmas music played I would change the station. So even though I believe in the holiday just didn’t really feel like living the moment this year I got tired of being called a Scrooge. So since I hadn’t seen this version of the Charles Dicken’s Tale I thought it would be fun to watch.

Now for the Review

Review:

This being the first time I’ve ever seen this movie I thought it was done rather well as a modern day (well in the 80’s) tale of Scrooge and how people lose their way in the holidays and everyday life in order to get where they want on their path, only to be lost down the wrong path and lose focus of the things that are really important like love, family, and faith.BCG1

Seeing Bill Murray playing Frank Cross was probably the best role for him next to the Groundskeeper in Caddy Shack. I loved and was very much able to relate to Frank Cross’s character. Billy Murray’s incredible over the top but keeps it just enough where it’s not too over the top acting and funny man, he has the ability to mesh well with other characters, like Bobcat Goldthwait. The whole scene towards the end and just watching them struggle through the whole movie very similar situations was pretty interesting.

KABM1Karen Allen, the true love to Indiana Jones playing the love interest to Frank Cross in this film was amazing, I’d never seen her in anything else other the Indiana Jones and her acting skills (except for Crystal Skull to which we do not mention) have gotten better.

The writing was pretty true to the story of Scrooge, with a little flair from the 80’s little bits of modern day things… I love how they even had a bag phone in the film. I actually enjoyed the person doing the censoring getting hurt and also ironically cussing as she was inflicted into painful circumstances. (Made me chuckle a little)

Overall the movie was done well I would recommend this if you’ve never seen it (like me)

4.5‘s

Kimmay!

It is the season of giving and sharing. This is something many of us forget to do the rest of the year but manage the few weeks around Christmas. In Scrooged, Frank Cross, played by Bill Murray, is the type of man who doesn’t do it at all. Christmas to him is a sham and just another way to get the ratings for his T.V. station. But the one thing he forgot is Christmas is about miracles whether you want them of not.scrooged_01

In this adaptation of Charles Dicken’s A Christmas Carol, the story is brought to life in the means of Cross changing. He sees what he used to be and what he has become. Also how his actions effect other people.

The acting in this movie was done rather well. Murray portrayed a man who thinks he is going crazy fabulously. His facial expressions and antics were great.  Alfre Woodward, his secretary Grace, did a great job of showing how the working class puts up with the quirks of the upper management.

The music was typical for a Christmas movie but still done well. But I have nothing really special to say about it.

The make-up team was rather creative with the various ghosts of the Christmas. I liked Christmas yet to be and his little gremlin type beings in his chest. Plus Christmas Present was a hoot with her rough love.

I don’t know if this is one I would watch with little kids but it is still an enjoyable  family movie.

So I give this film a…

3.5 ‘s

 

BIG JD

Bill Murray has had ups and downs in his career.  He’s gone years without making movies at times.  This movie just so happens jump started his career again for his most memorable movie run in his career.  This movie is of course a current (late 80’s) rendition of the Charles Dickens classic A Christmas Carol.  We all have seen many of the versions.  Heck we reviewed the Muppet version last year.  Do I smell tradition?  So, obviously the story isn’t something that’s going to pull you in because you already know what’s going to happen.  No surprises are made and the movie still stands on its own.  Maybe not recognized as one of the best versions of the Humbug Tale but to me, one of the most memorable.

scrooged 3It’s the cast that holds this boat together.  It’s almost a who’s who in 80’s movies.  Bill Murray – Duh, Karen Allen – Indiana Jones, John Glover –
Glover maybe wasn’t as big in the 80’s as he was later in life when he played Lex Luthor’s father in Smallville.  I guess you can cite Gremlins 2?, Bobcat Goldwait – Police Academy series, Jamie Farr – MASH, Robert Goulet – singer and stuff, Buddy Hackett – They got Buddy Hackett!, Lee MF’in Majors – 6 million dollar man, ALL 3 OF BILL MURRAY’S BROTHERS – Joel, Brian, John Murray!!!  That’s nice isn’t it?  Mary Lou-Retton – Gymnist, and finally as a street musician Miles Davis – Best trumpet player next to Dizzy Gilespie.  With a cast like that, you can’t lose.

You see Scrooged and you can say that it is a Christmas film.  It is, kinda.  Ok, I guess it explores the good will to all men aspect but other than that I guess it misses out.  The dialogue can seem a bit forced at times like they are all timid to speak in waiting for Bill Murray to go off with his loud whining and carrying on fits.  The Old Boss, The cabbie, and the fairy were nice touches to make this movie original enough to set it apart from others with the same story.  Although, it’s not much of stretch of the imagination when I’m predicting what’s gonna happen.scrooged-movie-image

With all that said I enjoy watching this movie every other Christmas or so.  I love Bill Murray back when he was confident.  The voiceless child in the end had that classic line and it was the only thing they got perfect in this movie.  Why?  Because they didn’t change anything and it will surprise you that he speaks and it makes you genuinely happy for him.  In many ways I think that this can beat out the original Christmas Carol incarnations just based on making the audience feel something instead of just watching Ebenezer be a dick and then start being nice all of a sudden.  This version builds up to the “nice” part and it’s more believable.  So, if you haven’t seen this movie, go watch it now.  Quick before Christmas is over because nobody watches Christmas films AFTER Christmas.

My favorite scene has to be the ending credits.  Not because it is the end ot the movie but I think that it is a fun way to end a movie.  Just as the guys who made “There’s something about Mary”.  Oh, and yes Richard Donner starts this movie like a Tim Burton film but I would say that this falls into his best jobs.  He has a lot.  Ie.  Superman!

Merry Christmas ALL!!!

Comic book Connection: N/A

Nudity Bonus:  just a ltitle bit of nipples but you can’t really see anything “and these guys are really looking!”

3.50‘s

Children of the Corn (1984)

Trailer:  Children of the Corn (1984)

Starring:   Peter HortonLinda HamiltonR.G. Armstrong 

Running Time: 1 hr and 32 min – Genre: Horror

 

Kimmay!  (Host)

I think it is important to go back and watch the classics no matter what genre it is. I love old musicals, comedies, and even some of the dramas. But when it comes to the horror movies, I have been surprisingly disappointed. This goes for It, The Exorcist, Halloween and now Children of the Corn. I don’t know if this is because I am now to jaded when it comes to horror flicks or if I am not the big pansy I always thought I was. I’m thinking it has more to do with the first and not the second.

I’m not really going to go into the plot because I don’t think it is really all that important in the movie. I just hope it was way better in the book or otherwise I’m sadly disappointed. Guess I might have to read this book soon.

Some of the music was pretty epic in all of its 80’s glory, my favorite was the gloriously computerize bits, but the rest was just mediocre .

When it came to the scare factor of this movie there were two major aspects of the movie that got to me. One,the creepy kids that followed Issac blindly and two, the creepy ginger kid who kept trying and succeeding in killing people. Everything else was just cheesy. The other thing was that the little girl, who couldn’t have been more than 5, helped bandage the wanna be doctor with little to no problem.Malachi

The man who walks behind the rows is not scary at all but just looked like a scene from Trimmers with the ground moving around. And when he gathers his powers into the retro storm with the absolutely fabulous lighting it made my heart giggle with glee.

So, with a drum roll please…

1.5 ‘s

Ran-Dizzle

So perhaps this would have been better watching when I was younger but this movie just did not interest me at all.  It just goes to prove that Gingers devour peoples souls.

As for the writing I am sure this is better in book format since Stephen King is an awesome writer however this movie just the acting wasn’t that great of course most of the actors are children and a midget.  Linda Hamilton did ok but she plays a victim well between this movie and Terminator.

The Special effects was horrible again for the time it might have been ok, but seeing it now vs when it was more popular that tends to kill it for people who never saw it before so it’s hard to compare the special effects like that but to me they were very cheesy.

The score/soundtrack kept the horror edge, except for when Burt was running away from the child cult mob and the 80’s sound kicked in.

Overall not my cup of tea for horror/halloween movies but perhaps you should check it out yourself.

1.5 ‘s

 

Big JD

To say that I love Stephen King is neither an overcompensation nor a underwhelming lie.  I think his books are great.  His movies that are usually “loosely” adaptations are hit or miss.  Children of the Corn provides the “creepy” but ultimately delivers a “miss”.

Not that you should expect excellent acting in a Horror genre styled movie but this is just too much.  Linda Hamilton overacts and Peter Horton underacts most of the movie.  Example:  Oh Sh*t I just hit a kid with my car!  Are you ok?  Here let me check out your bump on your head and then

proceeds to get out of the car to “check” on the kid he just hit.  I think I would be acting a bit more concerned if I hit a kid going 50-60 mph.  That’s just one example.  I’m sure you can find more.  I almost don’t want to blame the actors entirely.  I mean, this was based from a short story so, you know much was added into the movie as filler.  Like the “non-commitment” issue that Burt (P. Horton) has. Ok, I don’t care if it was in the story or not.  It was just annoying.  I have a question though.  So, all the kids were like enthralled with the will of Issac so, why wasn’t Joby or Sarah?  Is it because she had the gift of vision?  Strange.  How this movie got 6 sequels is beyond me.  Usually a good guy lives to tell the story.  Not here folks.  Sorry spoilers.

The soundtrack was good and creepy.  Probably the best asset of the movie.  It keeps you feeling creeped out.  If you’ve ever been in a corn field then you will understand how cornfields are just plain creep-tastic.  There weren’t too many scenes that really stand out except for the beginning Massacre scene and the Boy getting hit by a speeding car part.  The rest of the movie just kinda mosie’s along with the threat of seeing “The one who walks behind the rows” or should I say “Sa-tan?!”  Ok, that was my best church lady impersonation.  Too bad you didn’t hear it.  I didn’t like the plot.  I thought it was weak to put it lightly.  So, how did all these kids survive without having grownups there?  They did their own farming.  Yeah, right.  Give me a break.  So, the kids are killing the grownups for being… over 18 and basically grownups yet, they are trying to be grownups anyway?  Shouldn’t the babies then in turn kill all the kids then?  Just following the logic here.  I also, would have liked to have a better look at the “Lucifer in charge”.  It was always hinted towards and had some dirt fly up like a giant bugs bunny scene but no real evil.  Ok, Malachi was pretty evil but that’s as good as it gets.  Best actor in the movie.

In summation.  Weak, Creepy soundtrack, bad acting/writing, typical 80’s horror flick.  Plot doesn’t need to make sense.  Now, if you’ll excuse me I’m gonna go draw stick figures and listen to my record player.  Why?  Because it’s forbidden!

1.5‘s

Django: Unchained (2012)

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Starring: Jaime Foxx, Christoph Waltz, Leonardo Di Caprio   – Directed By: Quentin Taranteno

Ran-Dizzle(Host)

As a True Tarantino fan that I claim to be this is probably in the top of his movies, it’s close for me between this and Inglourious Bastards. The Cast is phenomenal. I would have to say the most impressive would be Christoph Waltz, he continues to astonish me in his acting career, (Water for Elephants, Inglourious Bastards..etc.) Even though he’s a German Dentist turn Bounty Hunter in this movie, still very good acting for me.  django cw jf rifleAnother great one in this movie is Jamie Foxx (aka Django) watching his transformation through this movie from Slave, to Freeman and how he develops and deals with the racial bigotry for the time is amazing. Even Don Johnson’s Character (Big Daddy) Played a decent role…the slim version of Col. Sanders…I kid but he does bring a comedic light to the movie, as does alot of the one liners and poetic justice scenes in this movie.images5

What I love about Tarantino films besides his writing style is the way to incorporate the 70’s music vibe into the films, well it’s not him personally doing it but he gives off that style in his being and his writings, Pulp Fiction, Inglourious Bastards, Reservoir Dogs ect. It gives it that cheesy 70’s style to me bringing the B-Movies back with a flare.

Tarantino is one of the most talented writers to me, he has a touch of taking the most weird angle of any argument and developing it into the most intense scene like in Django when they are all around the dinner table and Calvin Candy (DiCaprio) has discovered their plan, he in a battle of wits conveniences them that he’s on to their scheme and will handle the matter. But the best scene that describes what I mean is the argument between Candy and Dr.Schultz in the library as Dr. Schultz goes to cool off and settle the matter calm and rationally with Calvin Candy, as Candy gloats and then it leads to the blood bath that is probably the most thrilling action scene in the movie.

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A little Easter egg and fun fact. The Original Django (Franco Nero) from the 60’s – 70’s was in this film as a head nod to the original character. He plays the Italian gentleman opposing Calvin Candy in the Mandingo fight, which explains the awkward scene of him bellying up at the bar next to Django.

As much flack that the movie got being racist the thing you have to remember is this movie takes place right before The Civil War where racism was one of the key factors. So the tolerance of using the N-Word and slavery was acceptable then. People seem to forget that for some reason. This is a historical fiction, spaghetti western style movie so always keep that in mind, and yes Tarantino may have went a tad overboard with using the derogatory word but as a creative artist he does have a right to display the actions he feels is necessary to replicate the time, Do I necessarily agree…no I think it was used a tad too much, but still something to keep in mind with watching this movie.

I say it’s a must see!

 

5.0‘s

Big JD-

This is Quentin Tarantino’s best film to date.  At least I think so anyway.  With so many things going right for this movie there wasn’t much that went wrong.  The cast was just amazing.  Jamie Foxx again steals the show as Django.  (the D is silent)  I say again, not because he’s played Django before but because he is often under estimated when acting is in question.  He really is an amazing actor and this movie once again proves it.  It was really close to being cheesy and he kept it in check.  With Christopher Waltz, Leonardo DiCaprio, Kerry Washington & Samuel L. Jackson in this movie there is no way that it can go wrong.  There is one but I’ll get to that later. Django_Unchained3

The writing was very Tarantino like.  Just like all of the blood.  He has a knack for writing long dialogue tension filled scenes.  This movie has plenty of those.  They do not disappoint.  Neither does the cast.  Many times I was just enthralled & captivated by Christopher Waltz & DiCaprio in there respective scenes.  My favorite for the good Dr. Schultz was capturing his first bounty on screen.  Very Awesome.  DiCaprio has to be when he is speaking about the 3 dimples.  (did he cut his hand for real in that scene?)  Curious.  As for my favorite scene with Django?  Anyone could guess it was the 2pac laced shootout scene.  It had be gushing!  Samuel L. Jackson was his first encounter with Django and Kerry Washington’s had to be the hotbox scene.  No.  Just kidding.

The soundtrack was filled with old 70’s style spaghetti western type songs with the exception of Rick Ross & 2pac on 2 occasions.

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Unexpected but somehow fit.  This is also very Tarantino-like.

The amount of racism displayed had a lot of people cringing and disliking certain parts of this movie.  Yet, I thought it was a little extreme at times.  I allowed for it to move me because at the end it makes the payoff more worthy.  Then there was the subject of the length of this movie.  Yes, it sits at 2 hours and 45 minutes and the first time you watch it may go fast.  But as the second viewing is half over you notice that time starts to drag.  You know whats gonna happen yet you push through it.  I couldn’t honestly give this movie a 5 star rating knowing that it is a hard movie to watch multiple times.  If it was about 2 hours I would say 5 star no problem.  But this is a slight problem for me.

In the end I was very pleased with this movie.  Awesome in fact!  If you don’t mind extreme Racial slavery scenes and huge amounts of blood then you will find this movie to have a certain flair for the dramatic.  Enjoy.

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Comic Book Movie Plus:  Jamie Foxx:  The Amazing Spider-Man 2 – Kerry Washington: Fantastic Four 1 & 2 – Samuel L. Jackson: Iron Man 2, The Avengers (acouple other appearances in Marvel Movies), The Spirit

Nudity Bonus:  Kerry Washington: 1:34:34 (full/T)

4.50‘s

 

Wizards (1977)

Willie Good-Cook(Host)

-An actual review…written by me. Not IMDB or Wikipedia (Randizzle)-

Lets start by saying what a great movie this is. This was one of the first cartoon movies(in America) to feature extreme violence, partial nudity, and over all a true adult cartoon experience. This opened the door for movies like Heavy Metal, Cool World, and other “risque” cartoon content.

After a nuclear war wipes out almost all of humanity and leaves the rest as mutant freaks, elves, fairies and dwarfs all come back to the world and start to thrive. The humans are pushed into the more radiated and toxic areas which causes them to become more mutated.  The story is about aging wizard Avatar the Great who is finally forced into confronting his evil twin brother Black Wolf.  Avatar, Peace (An assassin that is captured by Avatar and reprogrammed to lead them to black wolf), Weehawk (An elf with attitude and a nice yelling voice) and Elinore (Fairy Princess with very little clothing) embark on a journey to stop Black Wolf.

Black Wolf has been building up a mechanized army based on old Nazi military plans that his evil minions have unearthed. He also has found a projector which magically sends the video into the sky around his army which confuses the goodly forces. This allows him to push them back and threatens to destroy the goodly peoples.

This movie, even though it was done with a low budget, is still a classic in its own rights. Even the ending is great because no one expected it. Everyone expected a huge climatic battle to decide the fate of Avatar. It really reminds me of the Lord of the Rings (Books not movies.) There was no huge battle to decide Middle Earths fate. Gollum saved the day by biting off Frodo’s finger and falling into the volcano. Unexpected, but epic at the same time. Just like this movies ending.

The music was also very enjoyable. Sometimes less is more and that is so true in this movie. You don’t need a choir or 100 different sound effects to make a good sound track. The plot was good as well and the actors did fairly good for the time. There was also some footage that was shot using rotoscoping which was cheaper than animating some of the battle scenes. They used live action footage and made it look different and cool. This was something not seldom done. It creates a very unique effect. Another interesting fact is that it was heavily used in the Soviet Union from the 30’s to the 50’s, which could make it a sort of Easter egg of sorts.

This movie was made during a period where there was still a lot of tension between the U.S. and Communist countries. There is quite a lot of Nazi propaganda used in this film. This film is abundant with symbolism and underlying meaning. The casual viewers may not get it (Big JD), but there is a lot more going on than just the face value. That is why it is and will remain a cult classic…regardless of what these two clowns say.

-Suggestions-

Join the Cult, you might like it….just don’t drink the kool-aid.

3.5‘s

Randizzle

Loved every minute of it. See my review here.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0076929/

Or just read Big JD’s. That is where I get all my ideas anyways.

5‘s

Big JD

Wow.  I’m stunned.  After watching this movie I was speechless.  Not in the way you would think when someone is speechless after watching a movie.  I was more confused in the fact that I just watched a movie that had nothing to offer.  I would also like to say that Will made this pick and he shouldn’t get offended by me tearing it apart.  He might have a sentimental tie to this movie.  Hey, I’m sure like 7 others in this world do too.  There wasn’t much positive to take away from Wizards so, lets get into it shall we?

The voice acting was at the most sub-par.  Half the time there wasn’t conviction in the voices of those that were suppose to show it.  It mostly sounded like they were reading from the script.  Don’t get me started on the monotone Narrator.  It was like she was reading her script while laying in bed just before she fell asleep.  Her lines were not written badly here.  It was her delivery.  On the whole it was written poorly though.  Can’t get away with that.  Just because they have created this fantasy post-apocalyptic world doesn’t mean that they wrote a great story.  From the start I was thinking I was going to get a full fledged story.  With a lot of back-story and everything but it all fell short.  Very short.  Avatar was supposed to be this “great wizard” that never reached his full potential.  Don’t worry.  This movie never shows that he ever does.  A gun in hand?  Makes for a quick ending.  The whole journey to fight the evil Blackwolf was quite convoluted and generalized.  To the point where there wasn’t much said except “fairies are bad”.  They journeyed across many terrains I guess.  The one to take note of was the wintery mountains.  “I’m cold, so so cold”.  Says Princess fairy Elinore.  So what does avatar do?  He gives her a poncho.  Walking through snow barefooted wouldn’t make you cold enough to wear a pair of boots?  Some great wizard especially since he was barefoot too.  If your gonna have terrain changes in the story you should have it affect the characters in more ways than adding a “poncho”.  They were after Blackwolf because he was giving his army the right motivation to fight.  They dug up some Nazi memorabilia.  Before I go forward, WWII was In the 40’s some 30 years prior to this movie.  Nazi films and all the stuff they recovered would be pretty hard to find.  It’s not like that stuff was just laying around.  But for the sake of story, I’ll go with it.  The whole harbinger of “evil” was a film projector.  Lame.  So, So lame.  This film projector somehow had the ability to project the images of film on air.  No backdrops needed.  Just somehow the projections Hitler and his Reich marching was scary enough to put all those that saw it into a “scare coma”.  Wow that was scary.  Scary that Blackwolf was somehow able to stay alive with his arm bones exposed at all times.  Scary that the assassin NC-99 later known as “Peace” was never really revealed to be a robot except for a one time mention halfway through the movie.  A robot that had pupils during one scene in the beginning but never again.  A robot that fades away like a dead jedi when killed?  A robot that was more of a plot device to carry the hero group to the bad guy group.  That sounds more realistic.

This movie is similar to the animation found in “Cool World”, “Fritz the cat”, and crap unreleased efforts that never got funded.  I don’t like the fact that they used sexual overtones to try to market to the “adults”.  No, there wasn’t cartoon nudity, but there might as well have been.  The fairy Princess was wearing skimpy clothing with …  uhm…  Let’s just say it was cold during the entire movie.  Not to mention the fairy prostitutes.  The excessive blood and gore was directed towards the adult audience as well.  I’m sure they figured that if they put the sexual overtones mixed with the excessive blood and death that the adult audience would be drawn to it like moths to a flame.  I don’t think so.  I think you would need to change your animation style first.  It was all animation styled like something you would find on Saturday mornings in 1980.  Actually that’s giving it more props then it deserves.  Why?  Well, because I’ve seen Tom & Jerry episodes with more animation style than what I saw in this movie.   I’m really curious were they got all of their war footage from.  Probably from the library.  They just used general information war footage and took the negative and there you go!  Evil Mutant Army.  Oh, don’t forget to animate two “horns” on the bad guys.  Let’s see, I saw footage of African warriors, WWII soldiers, Knights of Camelot… etc.

The song / fighting interludes made me want to fall into a deep sleep and never wake up in fear of having to continue on with this movie.

The casting fit the animation.  Ha ha ha.  No not really.  When I first saw Avatar, I didn’t believe that this was the hero of the movie.  I couldn’t accept it.  He looked like a homeless drunk and sounded like Columbo.  The princess’s voice didn’t match her drawn figure.  The android/robot/ghost thing sounded more like an idiot than anything.  I’m sure the cast was just people sitting around Fox studio’s that worked in the office and they each got a shot at it.  Oh, but Mark Hamill was in this movie?  Really, I didn’t notice.  He played the part of Sean.  I don’t remember seeing a “Sean”, or ever giving notice that a character’s name was “Sean”.  So, yeah.  I was prepared to give this movie a half a star based on Mark’s performance.  But since I didn’t even notice the appearance then the half star will fade away just as this movie will do for me and just as it has done with the movie watching audiences since 1977.

Oh, and it may have .5 stars in the rating here but it is in no way worse than Max Magician.

 0.5‘s

 

Max Magician and the Legend of the Rings (2002)

Willie Good-Cook(Host)

-Synopsis-

Max Magician is a bullied young boy who receives a magic book from the old gardener down the road. The book sends him on a quest of discovery and magic which will forever change the young magician.

-Review-

This movie is bad. I mean really really bad. You may be thinking, “Willie, why would you want to review a horrible movie?” Well, let me tell you. There was originally an idea floating around that we could do Battleship and Avengers back to back. We were planning to do it later in the month, but BigJD decided to stab me in the back and pick his so sacred Avengers anyway. So here we are, revenge!

This movie makes legend look like Shawshank Redemption. It is like taking the worst parts of Legend, Harry Potter, The Never Ending Story, and any other crappy fantasy movie and mashing them into one turd of a movie. I actually found this movie on the $5 at Walmart(Just like everyone else that has ever seen this.)  There really isn’t anything to say positive about this besides maybe the makeup. I really only gave it a half star because this movie is so bad it is kind of funny. And that makes me like it. I can’t give it any more points however.

The terrible voice over in parts, horrible audio, poor acting, bad directing, cheap sets, poor costumes, 1970’s special effects, did i say bad acting? Along with a cookie cutter plot makes this movie the worst movie of all time in my mind.  And if one of these fuckers stabs me in the back again I will be reviewing Justin Bieber  and Hanna Montana movies for the next 6 picks!!

-Suggestions-

If you want to get revenge on your buddies that you review movies with, pick this movie. I can promise you wont be disappointed!

0.5 ‘s

Big JD

This had to be one of the worst movies I’ve ever had to watch.  It was so hard to watch this movie in every way possible.  You can take every aspect of a movie and this one comes in last in about every category.  Let’s get with the whipping shall we?

Let’s start with the actors/actresses and the subtle occurrence of acting.  If you were to judge this on a scale of porn acting then it comes in as a average score.  But actually I would rather watch porn actors than this crap.  I have to wonder if this was a friend & family movie where if you are one of those then you get in this movie.  Each person is uncomfortable to watch.  Fake crying over a dead mouse made me want to put my foot through the TV.  It’s really bad.  Especially Max’s overacting.  Although I wanted to throw Lord Dagda on a pyre.  Was it me or did the “Queen Belphobe” look a lot like Max’s mom?  IMDB says the Queen is played by a Jack Baker.  Wow!  They don’t care about this movie either!  Either that or the Queen actually was played by a man.

One thing that will stand out to most is the actual quality of this movie.  I could have sworn it was a YouTube video at first.  Even FanFilms have better quality then what I’ve seen here.  It was fimed with a video camera from BestBuy I’m sure.  The voiceover was most disturbing.  If your going to voiceover your whole movie make then match up and make them fit the scene.  This also goes for the Foley artists.  Like if you are walking through a forest then it shouldn’t sound like you are walking like a giant through a Dorito’s factory.  Oh, soundtrack didn’t match up with scenes either.  Painful.

The outfits were straight out of a welfare version of the Ren Fest.  That goes for all the weapons too.  I could have sworn I saw one guy wielding a croquet mallet.  I bet they didn’t even have to spend much on extra’s.  They probably went down to the park were are the LARPer’s hang out and made a deal involving a set of chain mail and a free copy of “Legend”.

Writing this movie I’m sure was done by a dungeons & dragon’s fan that really didn’t interact with people much.  This is how he saw interactions.  Horribly written.  Examples follow.  Max runs into an old man and they are instant friends.  Somehow Mr. Tim is “tough” to max but the thing that bothers me is that he gives this old ancient most valuable spell book to a kid that he hardly knows.  Yeah, that makes sense.  All other relationships seem forced and hurried.  The relationship between Max & everyone is a prime example.  Oh, why do they need to hang out in his closet?  He saved the land so, shouldn’t it be ok for them to live there?  Not in his closet?  Whatever, this movie had me cringing everytime someone spoke so, it makes no difference to me.  The story was vague and watered down with crap.  Bullied kid learns magic saves kingdom from evil guy that farts randomly by turning him into a mouse.  Wait, Max didn’t do that.  Crimble didn’t do that.  Did Worm do that?  If so, why didn’t he do that this whole time?  Plot hole’s are there for the choosing.  You just need to watch the movie to find one.

With that said, PLEASE DON’T WATCH THIS MOVIE.  It is not worth your time.  I thought maybe I could find a redeeming quality in this movie but unfortunately I couldn’t.  Kevin Summerfield, let’s hope you didn’t quit your day job to pursue this dream of directing.  I mean, if your going to use the same bird sound over and over to show “outdoors woodland stuff”, then you just need to quit while your behind.

Now if you’ll excuse me I have to film a really cheesy “Learning Magic” montage with my buddy that does roleplaying events for SWUWS (Star Wars United We Stand) group.

0‘s

Randizzle

Dear God NOOOOOOOO!

When Will announced this movie….I thought to myself “I Hate you Will….so much” First of all he found this in the $5.00 bin at Wal-Mart, and he paid WAY too much for it, now if it was in a collection of kids movies more understandable but as a stand alone way too much money spent on this movie.

Did it have the potential to become a movie? No. There was no good acting or story line at all it was like some D&D nerds and (I can say that because I used to be one LONG TIME AGO!) Renaissance fans were like lets make a movie, I got a handy cam, and these awkward looking fake weapons we can use…ok now we just need to find a reason to fight…

One thing that was remotely decent about the movie Will already commented on was the make up was ok…it wasn’t like major motion picture ok, this was like the got a make up person from a porn set and said make them look like a creature from a D&D book… seems they did “Ok” but not completely outstanding, however out of everything else in this movie it’s the only thing I can give a good comment on.

The Giggling Mouse, and farting bad guy that does King things annoyed the hell out of me…and the other weird looking guy that rhymed all the time I wanted to punch him in his big *** nose.  Perhaps if one were to smoke the reefer this movie might be a trillions times better but I do not endorse that in fact I would just stay the hell away from this movie, go watch something that is actually worth watching…if you want to watch fantasy go watch Legend it’s a lot better then this…even if BIG JD hates it…I think he’d rather watch that then this.

0.5 ‘s

For Those that have seen this movie.  What did you think?