Reviewing one movie at a time…

Man-Thing (2005)


Trailer: Man-Thing (2005)

Starring:  Jack Thompson, Matthew Le Nevez, Steve Bastoni  – Directed By:  Brett Leonard

Running Time: 1hr & 37 mins – Genre: Action, Horror, Sci-Fi

 

Big JD (Host)

Movie Selection Relevance

This movie is a Marvel comics based character movie.  That’s all I need to say.  But additionally this will be my last chance to pick a bad movie for the crew.  More on that in the coming weeks.

Synopsis:

Murders and citizens gone lost are a major problem in this Louisana swamp town.  Not to mention the local businessman is hard at work pumping oil out of the earth into his pockets and destroying the Swamp environment while doing it.  Enter: New sheriff in town to get down to business.  In this movie Man-Thing doesn’t appreciate people that desecrate his land.  For he is guardian and protector of the Nexus of All Realities.  They all are responsible.  They all must pay.

Review:

Man-Thing had so much potential to be a very interesting and good movie.  You can figure out right away that this movie wasn’t released in theatres in the US but internationally was instead.  Direct to DVD was its purpose here but not before airing on the Sci-Fi network first.   Like any movie though if there is boobs present then I will definitely give it at least a half star rating.  Boob-tacular!  And this movie starts off like an 80’s slasher flick with the two kids running off into the forest (replace with Swamp) to bake some cookies.  Along with his bad hick accent.  And as to be expected you get the boob scene.  It lasts for a couple seconds but has to be the best part of the movie sad enough.  It wouldn’t be so bad but we don’t get a full clear shot of the Title character until 1 hour and 13 minutes into the movie.  He is hinted and teased the whole movie.  Did I mention that this movie runs 1 hour and 37 minutes.  If you are going to have a movie based on a character then have the character in the movie at least 50% of the time.  5% screen time does not work fella’s.

Speaking of the main character lets touch on some points of Source Material.  Man-Thing is from the Florida Everglades and that is where the Nexus of all Realities is located.  For what reason did this need to be changed?  Ted Sallis was not of Indian origin.  He was not an Elder Shaman he was a scientist.  I guess it really doesn’t matter since we never see him.  But that brings in all the Indian lore that I’ll touch on shortly.  Man-Thing did not go on killing sprees.  He is empathetic.  Very much to the point that someone that is expressing Fear disturbs him greatly and freaks out.  Also, Man-thing does not have these Tendrils of destruction that seem to go anywhere in the swamp.  The moving tendrils really bothered me because it takes away from the look of Man-Thing.  Although they did do a good job bringing him to life.  Even though it wasn’t correct.  Quick question to the writer’s.  Where did Man-Thing get the Oil that he made pour out of Schist?  That doesn’t make sense.  The Seminole Reservation was near the fictitious town of Citrusville in the comics.  So it doesn’t seem cliché if source material is kept right?  We don’t know what city this movie takes place in actually.  So, having this “green”, “let’s save the planet” type of feel to this movie you almost expect to see a crying Indian walking across the screen at some point.    Don’t litter or Man-Thing will rip you in half.

The acting at times is over acted and at others under acted.  Over and Under this seems to be bad.  It may be the writing.  Because as an example the teacher Teri Richards in the beginning is protesting and she shoves the Sheriff into the mud.  I don’t care what “reality” you are living in but that is assaulting a police officer which is not excusable.  Even though he takes her to the pokey he lets her go for other reasons so that maybe possibly one day he can…. Pokey.  “I want to see my lawyer!  I have rights!”  Right.  After you assault a sheriff you lose all those rights lady.  There are other times that her acting is good but for the wrong movie.  Way too dramatic when it doesn’t fit the scene.  Like the goodbye save our lives scene for instance.  It just seemed like the perfect time to give the audience a screen kiss because the first one was interrupted.  One comment I would like to clear up for the good Sherriff.  He mentioned that Life magazine went out of business.  Well, maybe when the script was Written but Life magazine started back up in 2004 and went to 2007.  This movie was released in 2005 so at that time He was telling a lie.  Just thought you should know.

If you don’t have anything to do for an hour and a half and you don’t mind wasting your life then check this movie out.  If you are a Marvel Comics fan then you need to check this movie out simply because you’re a fan.  It’s fun to see what they change for no good reason.  For example Ted Sallis wa s the only character kept from the comic books.  Here is a Easter egg for ya.  Ted Sallis’ wife Ellen Brandt is a character in Iron Man 3.  It’s the lady that attacks Tony in the Bar.  Interesting?  Yes, because originally Ted Sallis was working on recreating Erskin’s Super Soldier Serum along with the infamous Curt Conners (The Lizard).  To adapt to the story she is still an agent of AIM and after Man-Thing burns her face off (after she attempts to steal the formula) she goes into the special testing led by Killian.  Ok, Ok… that is a different movie.  Go watch this one now.  …or not.

Comic book Connection:  None.

Nudity Bonus:  Imogen Bailey (T)(4:28, 5:14)

 

2.0‘s

Ran-Dizzle

Well where do I begin…. First of all I didn’t think any Marvel movie could be worse then Elektra…and then I watched this. What fresh hell had Lionsgate Films brought to me this time. Oh they killed a not so popular 70’s-80’s Marvel Character….Man-Thing.

At first it kept my attention, then it kind of faded off…especially when the Sherif Kyle Williams was getting no where in his investigation other then someone or something was in the swamp killing people…the real part where I almost shut this movie off was right after he investigates the girl in the Psyche ward who sits there calm and then screams for no reason…had no real importance other than she witnessed the boy who she was rocking the boat with die. And they didn’t persue anymore…or ask the doctors any questions it was scream in my face move along…I thought WHAT?! nothing?

If I remember right Man-Thing’s role was Ted Sallis was a Scientist that injected a serum into his body and then later during a crash that landed into the swamp where mystical powers take over with the serum and turns him into Man Thing…where in this movie he’s a spiritual being that is ANGRY….and we all know Green Angry things are not good. So I am glad they kept Ted Sallis and the Nexus of All Realities in this movie but seriously I didn’t like how they made Man-Thing more of a avenged killer instead of the “Hero” he’s supposed to be, let alone an angry spiritual defender with a bloodlust.

The story was ok, I think after half way it kind of dragged along as you see people randomly die. I think it had a solid idea but that was all it was, an idea. I kind of half thought this was a thought in the head of the director and fed the actors the lines from his head before the camera.  Like it was all being written while it was in process. I think had the story been more detailed and given a little more depth this could have been better than Ghost Rider. (Of course it wouldn’t have Nicolas Cage but who would stop him from trying?)

For actors I’ve never heard of playing the roles they didn’t do bad but I really don’t see them getting much of a career after this…

Sadly this movie made Elektra worth watching again. Thanks Lionsgate

2.5‘s

 

Kimmay!

So I can’t say that I LOVED this movie but it was rather enjoyable for what it was. In the opening scene all I could think was this is a total B-rated horror film. With boobies and blood galore.

The special effects were, well, rather special. The Man-Thing was scary in it’s own right and if I were ever to meet him in the dark of the swamp, he wouldn’t have to stab me to death with his branches of doom, I would just die of fright. His ruby red eyes from the pits of hell were rather fun to look at whenever they did a close up of the face.

I have to say this movie did not go by the rules I thought Marvel played by. I was sure the creature in the swamp was evil and not just trying to protect all the universes and that the new sheriff was going to become some crazy super hero and save the day. Well that did not happen. The sheriff stayed human and the Man-Thing was just doing what it was meant to do, even if it was a lil extreme.

I have no recollection of the music at all so it couldn’t have been that great.

So for all of its glory I give this movie…

 

2.5‘s

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