The Whole Nine Yards (2000)
Running Time 1 hr 38 mins – Adventure, Comedy, Crime
Big JD (Host)
When a known contract killer moves in next door to you do you A) Run for the freakin’ hills or B) make friends with him in hopes that he’s really “just a good guy underneath”. Well, Dr. Nicholas Oseransky played by Matthew Perry decides that “B” is the option for him. Is the contract Killer (Bruce Willis) as bad as the media made him out to be or will he succumb to his old ways now that he is living in suburbia? All these questions plus more about bad marriages, contract kills, cheating on your spouse & getting away with it, & finally falling in love will be answered in this hour and thirty eight minutes of your down time.
Just to put this movie in a few words I could say things like “cheesy mob comedy”, “My Friends Married the Mob”, or “RIP Michael Clarke Duncan”. I would rather go on record and say that this review is dedicated to MCD due to his untimely death on 9-3-12. The Movie Crew will sorely miss reviewing your movies.
Let’s talk about Matthew Perry playing Dr. Nicholas Oseransky or “Oz” as his closest friends would call him. Not much of a stretch in character sad to say but, you know what you’re gonna get every time. I wasn’t disappointed in the acting here I just wasn’t surprised. Although, I would love to know what made him marry that horrible, horrible woman. Maybe it was said but, I missed it. How could this marriage be so bad that the wife actually has hits out on her husband? Sophie (Rosanna Arquette) should be taken off the billing up above just for the simple fact that her “French” accent made me cringe. It was like watching a bad impression of someone trying to impersonate the great Pink Panther Inspector Jacques Clouseau. It was so bad my wife said something about it as I was writing down some notes that said “Rosanna’s accent makes me wanna quit life”. It was like she said to the director “I must have a cigarette lit because it makes me feel more French.” So bad.
I usually love Kevin Pollak too. Not today buddy. First scene with him I thought he was trying to rub his eyebrow off. Seriously?! Was he trying to get into character or was he trying to think of his first line and how he was going to “do it”. Well, maybe he should have rubbed that eyebrow for a bit longer because the whole Swedish accent thing was stupid. His “W’s” were “V’s” , his “V’s” were “W’s” and his “J’s” were “Y’s” that was about the extent of the accent. Plus any boss wouldn’t likely ever go on a hit. Let alone let someone walk behind him with a gun. That seemed unrealistic.
Bruce Willis was good as well as Amanda’s Tom boy impression but, why wasn’t Harlan Williams’ character not expanded upon. No, I’m just kidding. It was big enough. Natasha Henstridge & Michael Clarke Duncan played roles to perfection.
All other facets of this movie did not leave me “runnin’ for the freakin’ hills” nor did they have me calling 1-900-ALL-TIME for the best movie category. I did however have fun watching Mathew Perry run into sliding window door’s, Michael Clarke Duncan punch Matthew Perry in the stomach and call it his kidney, finally my favorite scene of all was when Yani and the crew was waiting for Jimmy to get home and they are watching out the window and he says “Nobody move”, “Quiet”… *slip fart*! Oh, fart jokes can never be wrong and I will laugh every time. Now, if they would slip one in every once in awhile during a political debate I might watch them. Meh, probably not.
Comic Book Movie Bonus: Michael Clarke Duncan: Daredevil, Sin City, Green Lantern – Bruce Willis: Red, Sin City
Nudity Bonus: Amanda Peet – Jill St. Claire (1:07:00/1:08:56)(T)
(R.I.P Michael Clarke Duncan)
Let’s start with a quote from Jimmy The Tulip “Every Red-Blooded American knows the only condiment you put on a hamburger is KETCHUP” now this movie is taking place in Canada…WHY would you say that if your in CANADA?….*sigh*
The acting in this movie I have to agree with John although to me the “French Accent” wasn’t that horrible to me. Matthew Perry was like watching Chandler in Friends before or after he met everyone from Friends. Harland Williams I think his role was kind of pointless I mean I get the point of what his character was doing…but really I think it could have been without it… Another thing that kind of bothered me was the romance angle between Oz and Cynthia just felt like there was nothing but then she thinks she loves him at the end…I was with Jill when she asked her “Honey for 5 Million you better know”
One of my favorite parts was when Amanda Peet looked out the window to get Harland Williams attention…classic. Another one is the kidney dancing with Oz and Frankie.
Overall this movie was ok, it is a movie that I’ve seen multiple times and think it was a good one.
Lets start off by saying I really enjoy this film. From the steering wheel pounding to the naked woman hanging out a window. The movie is done very well. You never really know what Jimmy (Bruce Willis) is going to do. Mathew Perry is always great in a comedy film. His physical humor is as good as anyone else acting today. The story itself was very entertaining. This is another movie I can’t think of anything bad to say about. At the same time, it still falls short of being a blockbuster hit. The whole cast worked pretty well together. And Natasha Henstridge is still fine as hell.
I will say that Oz’s wife drove me crazy. I am not sure if it was her accent or just how much of a bitch she was. Either way, she did a good job of showing how incredibly annoying she can be. I also felt the ending was pretty cheesy. Really Jimmy, you are gonna leave the guy who has you old wife with a butt load of cash? How lucky can one guy be? Not that lucky.
Lets just hope no one picks TWNY2(SOOOO BAD!!)
-Suggestion- Rent it and watch it with your wife/girl. There are boobs and it is funny.
For Those that have seen this movie. What did you think?
- Michael Clarke Duncan died of ‘natural causes’ (telegraph.co.uk)
- Michael Clarke Duncan, Academy Award nominee for ‘Green Mile,’ dead at 54 – CNN (edition.cnn.com)
- Bruce Willis – Bruce Willis Pays Tribute To Michael Clarke Duncan (contactmusic.com)
- Michael Clarke Duncan – Michael Clarke Duncan Died Of ‘natural Causes’ (contactmusic.com)
- Michael Clarke Duncan was a ‘treasure’, says Tom Hanks (telegraph.co.uk)
- Michael Clarke Duncan planned to marry (cnn.com)